Sun bright clouds float
on the eastern horizon. Bird song
dances in the trees and in my heart.
Everything is right, everything is alive
as I pedal my way up dark hills
yet slumbering, in wait for the sun's
first rays. At the top, suddenly,
my heart slips–
sadness.
Unexplainable,
without warning.
Where were the caution signs,
the flashing lights;
unstable feelings ahead,
smashing against each other
like two weather fronts.
An angry sky thunders.
Hail pummels my crops,
buries my fields under its thick
cold. Snarling pride waits at my door1
ravenous, bred only to kill.
It smells the fear inside.
Jesus is here too–knocking,2
waiting, ready, patient.
I have to make a move.
Be a man.
Lonely words.
I would if I could only understand
what that means. I got lost.
At one time, I only knew how to kill.3
I was the first to die, like my father before me.
Finally I said, “Jesus!
this is really messed up.” He said,
“I love you.” He has been
living here for a while now.4
Must have been around 930 AM
He turned the doorknob
of a long dark closet
somewhere in my heart and
swoosh...
He's relentless; Love
overwhelming every last bit
of hell in my heart.
1Genesis 4:6-7
2Revelation 3:20
3Titus 3:3
4Ephesians 3:17
