A Perfect Harmony

In a deep moonless night
islands of clouds float
in a calm black sea
between them massive stars fuse and churn
little flecks of sunbeam held
between my thumb and forefinger
I glide along this ocean's floor
in a perfect hush
save the roar of liquid past my ears
and the hum hum hum of two tires
as I pedal my metal frame
wheels and chain, I drink deep
of this still night and savor
each draw of cool air
swishing it over my tongue
with my lungs, I ask
has any man's smile been more
whole and true
I hear him say to switch off
my headlamp and seal tight my eyes
and push harder and harder
with my arms outstretched
like twin airfoils at my sides I feel
my body become weightless and climb
up between the mountains of clouds.

Behind The Wheel of Escape

The hot sun burns

bright on my mirrored bumpers

like two skies My grill sparkles

on the miles and miles of interstate

metal on metal like the heart

I wear outside my chest

an empty locket cold

between my breasts

I watch the hypnotic

dashed white lines stream

past my chrome wheels

Turn signal on

boundaries made to cross

without thought

I rely on experience

saved up in between the muscles

in my shoulder or my brain or

well I don't know

as five of my eighteen wheels

shred a possum into an untellable paste

like the memories of my last husband

each white line an eraser

disappearing in my sideview mirrors

his angry hands

his slurred speech

when he was passed out

I left a note on his pillow

and prayed to myself

the bus would show up

before he came to

I imagined his sad dishrag face

at last free to show something

of the emotion he had for me

he needed me

like my dad

I ran from him too

I keep driving

my wounded eyes

watching the lines through my windows

a transparent reflection of my face

I swore I'd never be under his thumb again

and now I'm a million miles away

and now I'm a million miles away.

Fall and Winter Tankas

Sungold fall leaves cheer
and swirl in the free air,
drinking deep of wind.

Love is finally tasted 
when we surrender our tree.



Bare branches await
new leaves in the charity 
of winter's cool hands.

The distant green voice of spring
crowns the gift of chill and ice.

Family Inheritance

The ocean unfolds

a cool blue blanket against

a new world's shoreline.

Two brothers agree upon

an inheritance divided.

When the Familiar Departs

There was an old car I bought
cheap when I was young. I became so familiar
with her burgundy interior and exterior,
the way her speedometer never could
make up its mind, the strange tacky residue
on her steering wheel that appeared
when the weather was warm. 

Forget-me-not.
I remember the times I air-drummed

rock tunes buzzing on her two speaker stereo–
arms swinging, teeth gritted–
all the pedestrians looked at me in wonder.

I remember trips to the beach and the city.
We barreled down highways–
windows open, the warm summer air
rushing through her cab like streams of silk.
Nothing could recapture that night
when the moon and the cloudless sky
reflected on a mirror still lake
as we glided by in perfect silence,
perfect peace. Inevitably the day came
when her old, broken body was beyond
my ability to fix. She finished her years waiting
in front of my house, patient, proud
in the memory of your youth. And then finally
she was gone, carted away by a tow-truck
while I was out. Only a silent footprint of dirt
and debris was left where she once stood–
the place the street sweeper couldn't reach.

I remember the first day as clear as the last:
as suddenly as she came, she left.
I wonder about all the days in between,
when it seemed we were eternal
and time was never running out.

Abandoned

Los Angeles how I have longed
to gather your bones against my chest,
your blood into my dreams at night
when planes hover on your horizon
like signal flares–an incoming enemy
spies your most vulnerable parts
while you are sleeping.
Dad came home drunk again,
his burning red face
floated into your room.
The silence was too heavy to breathe
as he staggered in your doorway.
It seemed like an eternity
watching two stars being ripped apart
by the black hole we couldn't see
until, I'm sorry my friend,
it's too late.

Early Morning Transformation

Sun bright clouds float 

on the eastern horizon. Bird song 

dances in the trees and in my heart. 

Everything is right, everything is alive 

as I pedal my way up dark hills 

yet slumbering, in wait for the sun's 

first rays. At the top, suddenly, 

my heart slips–

sadness.

Unexplainable,

without warning.

Where were the caution signs,

the flashing lights;

unstable feelings ahead,

smashing against each other

like two weather fronts.

An angry sky thunders.

Hail pummels my crops,

buries my fields under its thick

cold. Snarling pride waits at my door¹

ravenous, bred only to kill.

It smells the fear inside.

Jesus is here too–knocking,²

waiting, ready, patient.

I have to make a move.

Be a man.

Lonely words.

I would if I could only understand

what that means. I got lost.

At one time, I only knew how to kill.³

I was the first to die, like my father before me.

Finally I said, “Jesus!

this is really messed up.” He said,

“I love you.” He has been

living here for a while now.⁴

Must have been around 930 AM

He turned the doorknob

of a long dark closet

somewhere in my heart and

swoosh...

He's relentless; Love

overwhelming every last bit

of hell in my heart.

1Genesis 4:6-7

2Revelation 3:20

3Titus 3:3

4Ephesians 3:17